Finding Your Style in Your 40s and Beyond

I was working with a lady this week - a colour analysis - and inevitably, the conversation came round to her evolving style now that she's in her 40s. My chats with clients often come round to this, wardrobes which no longer reflect the people we've become. We've matured a bit, feel more comfortable with ourselves and so want our wardrobes to reflect this.

The fact that your outfits don't quite reflect who you now are doesn't mean you've failed - quite the opposite, I would say. You've evolved, you've changed, you've grown and so now your style personality and wardrobe needs to evolve too.

In our 40s we've often gone through life events - career shifts, relationship changes, caring responsibilities, (peri)menopause... the list goes on - so it's unsurprising that this is a point when we finally have the time (and the bandwidth) to give ourselves some much deserved attention.

3 Word Method

If you've followed me for a while, or if we've worked together, you'll know I'm a big fan of the 3 Word Method. It was originally developed by Allison Bornstein and it's an easily accessible way of defining your style.

Essentially, you choose 3 words which define and detail your personal style. Sounds simple, right?

You can just pick 3 words which you feel work for you. Or, if you're someone who needs a bit more guidance or direction around this there are a few "rules" you can look to that might make it easier.

💚 The first suggestion is that your first word is your practical word. This is where your style currently is and your comfort zone. It can be used to define your regular, often-reached-for items. Where you feel most at ease - maybe minimal, flowy or colourful?

💚 Your second word should be something aspirational - think creativity and growth of your style. Where you want your style to get to. Perhaps there's been a time when you've worn an outfit which slightly pushed your boundaries and it just felt right. What might it have been about that outfit? Could it have been boho, edgy, western or classic?

💚 The third word relates to the emotional side to your outfit. How do you want to feel in your clothes? Examples of this could be - powerful, sexy (which can mean different things to different people), strong or elegant.

Here are some more examples I've put together for you (but this isn't an exhaustive list so feel free to choose your own):

The 80/20 Audit

There's a well versed statistic that many of us wear 20% of our wardrobe 80% of the time. It's almost shocking really when you think about how full our wardrobes are. Can you relate to this? Well, if you are trying to define your style perhaps this is a good opportunity to audit your wardrobe and review those items you are consistently reaching for. What are the heavy hitters within your wardrobe (this piece of homework can help you figure out your 3 words too).

Ask yourself - what is it about these items that mean you keep reaching for them? Is it the fabric? The movement? The colours? The fit?

The lesser worn 80% of your wardrobe is "noise" and could be getting in the way of your style clarity. Pieces that you'll wear one day (but never quite get round to) or garments which no longer serve you which leads nicely to...

The Reality Check

This can be a tough-y. We are emotional beings and often have an emotional connection to our clothes. I've heard many stories when working with clients of why they struggle to get rid of certain items. But often our clothes are no longer reflecting the life we are leading, or who we are, right now. Yet they are taking up valuable space within our wardrobe.

Questions to ask yourself:

🪩 Do you have clothes which still have the label on or are unworn?

🪩 Are there clothes you are hanging onto which no longer fit?

🪩 Are there items which were expensive, no longer feel right for you but you feel guilty to let go of?

🪩 Do you have lots of evening outfits/dresses yet you only got to 1 or 2 events a year now?

🪩 Is workwear taking up space in your wardrobe despite the fact you now mainly work remotely?

You get the picture. Clothes should not make you feel guilty when you open your wardrobe. If they do, I would encourage you to get rid. My want for you is that you can open up your wardrobe with a variety of outfit options which reflect who you are and the style you want to portray. The style which makes you feel confident and happy within yourself.

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Stop "Making Do" and Start Putting Yourself First

Clarity is the ultimate shortcut to confidence.

It's one of my favourite words when working with clients because I feel it's the golden nugget. When you know exactly who you are and how you want to present yourself, the "I have nothing to wear" meltdown disappears.

However, I know that doing this alone - especially when you’re navigating (peri)menopause, career pivots or relationship changes - can feel overwhelming. Sometimes it's too difficult to see the potential your wardrobe holds for yourself.

I specialise in helping women in their 40s bridge the gap between their changing lives and their wardrobes. My Style Confidence Programme is designed to:

• Define your unique style so you never second-guess a purchase again.

• Allow stress-free dressing with lots of "new" outfits to choose from.

• Remove the decision fatigue of getting dressed every morning.

  
  

Click here to book a Style Discovery Call – let’s get your wardrobe working for you with a greater sense of style clarity.